[Day 31] Do More!

Day 31 


Today I got home at 3PM, took my vitamins, updated this blog (took me at least 3 hours to finish it), updated my planner, updated my Motivation Notebook, Did a page in my sister's Adult Coloring Book, Cleaned/washed my make-up products, studied for an exam tomorrow at 8AM, and Imma sleep bye!

Almost 2 Years Old Random Notes # 13 : A Song From My Heart. . .

05/16/14 @ 11:38PM

Tears came down from my eyes

Hurt I felt from those cries

Mixed emotions that will break your heart

Something that's unfair to your part

Feelings that can't be explained

The sorrow I felt from that pain

As I wipe those priceless tears

Thinking if a person is somewhere near

Afraid that I will get caught

Crying silently, that's what I thought

These people who don't know or knows how I feel

Should just shut up and keep my secret sealed

Writing this poem in this exact moment

Makes me feel better that I want it to end

As I write this last sentence

I wish you all to remember my presence

--- 100 % made my me -----

(Wow. I didn't expect myself to write such a thing hahaha. Well this was before.... I guess its really true that you can really make good music if you want to express/vent out your feelings through making lyrics. BTW I was thinking of suicide while writing this.... I was so depressed and I couldn't talk to anyone about it. It was solid hard...)

Almost 2 Years Old Random Notes # 12 : ChamChamBlahBlah~

This are just random notes that I found in my Notebook.

(My Idol Signature In The Making...)

(Dream GAEL Image/Concept) 

Almost 2 Years Old Random Notes # 11 : Observations While Listening To Songs.

OBSERVATIONS WHILE LISTENING TO SONGS:



1. Their voices are really CONCENTRATED to the CONTENT of the SONG.

2. They have about 100 voices (in other words: UNLIMITED)

"The only limit is the DEMAND of the song."

3. Their voices are like PROGRAMMED to be that way to the songs. 
   NO MISTAKES SEEN

Almost 2 Years Old Random Notes # 10 : Goal and Motivation. How They Connect...

"In every GOAL, there must be a MOTIVATION"

Without it, it's like playing Track & Field without wearing shoes. You get tired easily no matter how hard you want to achieve your goal. 

Almost 2 Years Old Random Notes # 9 : Eomma Wae

05/28/14 @ 10:29PM

You gave me money and the things that I need
In exchange of your love and care for me
Even though you lack all of those in the past
I accepted it all cause I love you so much

Almost 2 Years Old Random Notes # 8 : Getting Scolded For Eating.

When I'm at school, I barely eat to save money. As soon as I go home from school, I get scolded by my mom for eating noodles. Since I didn't eat in school, when its time for dinner, I also got scolded for eating many. So when summer came, I wanted to eat many foods but it came to the point that my mom didn't want to fed me anymore cause I was already fat. It was my only chance to eat but I always get scolded and didn't want to be fed.

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Okay I don't know why I wrote this hahaha I guess a sign of venting out~ Uhmm all of this was true like for example for one whole day, I only get to eat grapes, only grapes. And then the next day only apples, etc. Well I guess I should thank my mom for doing this hahaha THANK YOU MOM!

But seriously I was REALLY suffering that time!

Almost 2 Years Old Random Notes # 7 : Here Comes Reality Check O.o

I'm just a DREAMER all this time!

I didn't realize what I should've done!

I'm too afraid to do what I think I should do!

That "REAL EFFORT" is REALLY SCARY!

I wanna ask myself: DO I REALLY HAVE THE PASSION AND THE DETERMINATION?! HUH?!

Almost 2 Years Old Random Notes # 6 : My Kkum...

My dream is like the sky, it has no ending.

That dream won't end until it has been achieved.

That day may be far, but I am sure it will become a reality.

Just like the dream I had yesterday,

Just like the life I had in my head,

Infinite like the universe,

And as far as the moon and sun,

Like the fingers in my hands,

We'll always be together.

*Finished @ 05:26AM while listening to "The Heirs" OSTs and while looking at the sky and the bright, clear, fresh things in front of me.*

Almost 2 Years Old Random Notes # 5 : A Dream That Can Suddenly Disappear...

05/15/14 @ 05:45AM (Recorded on Notepad)

Location: Van (Real Time & Date Unknown)

I don't want to open my eyes if I'm at a place where I know my dreams won't come true or even have a chance to come true. 

Every time I close my eyes, you could see me smiling like there's no tomorrow; because I am too busy visualizing myself performing on a huge stage and so many fans are there cheering for me and supporting me (haha there are even loud fanchants kkk..) while I sing and dance with all my heart.

But all of these ends as soon as I finally open my eyes, It all disappears... Suddenly, everything turns into reality...

Day dreaming can sometimes be a great medicine for your heart and soul, and sometimes, it can be a dangerous poison... and the next thing you know. REALITY CHECK!

I want to open my eyes when my "dream reality" finally happens.

Almost 2 Years Old Random Notes # 4 : Motto Changed!

04/18/14 @ 07:04AM

I think my motto has changed. I thought I can do anything because I have the passion and the determination... but I was wrong -___- You should have EFFORT! (I already knew about that before but I didn't realized that the effort that I should do should be "Real Effort!") But how?! what exactly am I going to do?! 

That "LUCK" in reality, is kinda or more likely impossible to get. Unless it's a miracle.

Almost 2 Years Old Random Notes # 3 : Probably A New Motivation At The Same Time Reflection.

As I watch this girl dancing, I realized that I’m too old for what I am right now, as a K-Pop dancer...  

She's almost equal to my skills... and somewhat similar with me in terms of learning dance steps... 

I think I should start learning REAL dancing. I should LEVEL UP and IMPROVE MORE, MORE, AND MORE!!!

That way, I’m going to be the best. 

Not like a girl dancing in the back.

Thanks Kathelyn for making me realize and understand it.

Almost 2 Years Old Random Notes # 2 : What In The World Am I Doing?! I Mean Really?!

[051214]

I shouldn't just sit here but WHAT AM I DOING?!

My insides is about to burst wanting to practice now and IMPROVE!

But my body is giving up right now and my mind is fighting on what to choose... 

Laziness or Improvement.

I know what I should do but thinking about it makes me want to postpone it... 

Until in the end, I never did it…

Almost 2 Years Old Random Notes # 1 : Losing Hope. . .

Thinking that my dream won't come true is a big nightmare for me. The fact that no one truly knows what I feel inside and what I really aim for is such a big disappointment. They don't understand it because to them, it’s just a delusional dream. But for me, it’s my whole life. It’s my life-long dream. And knowing that I only have at least .01% of achieving it really breaks my heart and my mental state of mind. Thinking of a way to achieve those is easy (REALLY) but doing it is VERY RISKY. It’s either It might destroy your life but at least you tried, or achieve a great success in your dream but in the end, you have nowhere to go.

Thinking and knowing that I still have a chance (or not); I really want to take that risk. But how... actually I know how but I’m kinda afraid… I’m actually the type of person who does A LOT of thinking before doing anything so… It’s hard.

Tools For Keeping On Track!

It may seem like I am just too bratty so why can't I just put them(objectives, goals, motivations, etc.) all in my head and just do it, right? Well NO. I CAN'T. I need these badly. (tsss.. even though I have these tools sometimes I still forget my goals...) And "NO" its not true it might not be my "REAL/TRUE" goals that's why I keep forgetting them. Its just... uhmm how do I say this... 

AH! A MAJOR PROCRASTINATION SICKNESS THAT I HAVE IN ME. 

ALSO I FORGET THINGS EASILY(Even problems (Hate that part, it only makes me an easy girl). 

Since I know my goal has a deadline, I can't depend on luck. I need to be fast enough to reach it before it fades. -___-

SO... HERE IT IS! TADA! 

(2016 Planner, Notepad, Motivation Notes, Korean Dictionary)

(Here it is when you open them.)

BONUS! 

(My Wallpaper kkkkk!)

[DAY 19-30] I'm Back For Updates!

Day 19 (January 21, 2016) - Day 30 (February 02, 2016)

Hey Guys. I haven't been active these days mainly because I've been too distracted by our EXID "Hot Pink" Dance Cover and some other things... Here's the link by the way PLEASE WATCH IT!

AlyGael - EXID's Hot Pink Dance Cover LINK (YOUTUBE)

By the way, AlyGael is currently planning to go to South Korea on August 2017 to audition for Entertainment Companies such as SM, YG, JYP, CUBE, BIGHIT, etc.

By the end of February we'll be able to post our Twice's "Like Ohh Ahh" Dance Cover, Practice Video for our March Dance Cover Contest, SNSD's You Think (If still possible), etc.

This year we'll(AlyGael) concentrate more on American Pop music dance rather than K-Pop since we're preparing for our weekly auditions next year in South Korea.

I haven't done my workout these past few days that I was out~ and also my vitamins. Although I DID practice my vocal and dancing... And also my sing & dance and uhmm I lost a lot of weight by the way *PROUD*

I'll be back every single day for updates I SWEAR! Starting from this day onwards!

After this post, I'll be posting some of my OLD (Almost 2 years old) compositions..... and also the tools that I am using to keep track of my activities and accomplishments...

[DAY 18] Can't Keep On Track Gosh!

Day 18


I went to school at 10:30AM. Got home by 1:30PM. Did my Ohh Ahh Unofficial Dance Cover by the time I got home. Went to the mall at 4:0PM. Then I returned home at 10:00PM. Plus! I ate so much food today that I almost cried ㅠ,ㅠ

I haven't done my workout, haven't took my vitamins, It's already 4:26AM and I'm still awake due to Hot Pink Remix and Ohh Ahh Editing + 2brokegirls, bought my dream(?) shoes, bought a new pink nail polish, bought a face roller, the end.

[DAY 17] No One Else Can Help Me Except Myself.

Day 17


Another day, another waste of time... I wasn't able to sumbit my audition video today cause I still don't have my solo, full shot, close-up pictures of myself to be submitted in my application form. I'm planning to take it tomorrow after my Like Ohh Ahh Dance Cover shoot. 

I didn't do my workout today, didn't practice, haven't done my remix yet, ate lots of food, drank softdrinks, and last but not the least, became a lazy pig...

Our AlyGael Practice didn't go well as planned. Alyzza didn't go to my house cause she told me that she wanted to take a day off and rest so as her friend I agreed ughhh. So it will be moved on sunday. 

Bye bye!


OMO btw I finally changed the privacy of my Beg For It Mina Myoung Choreo Dance Cover to PUBLIC 


Enjooooyyy!! 짱 짱 짱 

[DAY 16] More Work, Less Sleep. UNDERSTAND?!

Day 16

Storytelling first okay?

So uhmm I've been a little off lately thinking about how everybody around me who supports my dancing before slowly fades away..... But hey no need to be sad right? It can be a wake up call for me to put myself back in the game. That's why I wanna work hard for my Pink Hot and Like Ohh Ahh Dance Cover so that I can show them all that I improved so much since the last time they saw me... But WAIT. huh tsk tsk here I am again being lazy in bed ughhh! Let's just stop complaining and more doing!

What I've done for this day is Vocal and Dance Practice, wrote my answers for application forms(Audition), picked my audition video, 30squats, that's all *sigh* 

Tomorrow AlyGael has a dance practice at 3PM, my house. Then on saturday, I'll shoot my Ohh Ahh Dance Cover, then on sunday I'll buy shoes for our Pink Hot cover.

[DAY 15] I Wanna Type More Ughhh!

Day 15


Heyy Guys~ Need updates? 

Well here it is:

For this day, I did my vocal practice and a little bit of dance practice. I also did a 10-15mins of hullahoop and 50 squats. As usual, I took care of my skin blahblah (I have nothing to sayyyy) *Well it means I haven't been productive layely cause I don't have anything more to type*

By the way, I talked to Alyzza, and we're going to have a Pink Hot final practice this coming friday. And I think we'll be able to film the cover by the end of January YAY! Uhmm actually we were supposed to have our practice tomorrow but tomorrow is her first day in KCC Korean class *SuperDuperMegaUltraJealousHere* Somedayyyyy just u wait huh

If I have some free time, I listen to TTMIK lessons online... 

[DAY 14] This Week Is Too Rough ㅠ,ㅠ

Day 14


I had my dance and VOCAL practice earlier after I got home from school... I wasn't able to jog this morning... *my alarm didn't work* OKAY I ADMIT. Lately, the goals that I've set for this month hasn't even reached 80%!!! AlyGael's Pink Hot will be moved to February(1st week), Like Ohh Ahh(Hopefully this week) is a blurrr..., You think is also a big blurrr... PLUS! I haven't done my workout for today cause its TOO HOT here in the Philippines like LITERALLY. I know that's not an excuse but.. At times like this I NEED A MOTIVATION~ I promise to try harder tomorrow... 


Sorry Guys ㅠ.ㅠ

[DAY 13] Going Mentally Crazy Here 😭

Day 13


Hallooo~ 

4:30-5:00AM 
I woke up and changed my clothes for my morning jog. 
5:00-6:00AM 
I went outside and took a walk for 1 hour.
6:00-6:30AM
I took a bath.
6:30-7:40AM
I did my make-up & Skin Care
7:40-8:40AM
Fangirled, took a small bite from my breakfast, took a nap for a few minutes, woke up, retouch, then went inside our van.
8:40-9:00AM
My driver drove me to school
9:00-12:00NN
Earth Science Class (Very Long Dicussion + Exam)
12:00-4:00PM
Long Break, went to a friend's house, ate lunch(I ate 3 spoonfull of rice + Ulam), Drove back to school for another class
4:00-5:30PM
Information Communication Technology Class (Exam)
5:30-9:00PM
Went to the mall to look for my AlyGael Pink Hot outfit and walked all day just to find the right one. Good thing I saw some and bought 2 yay! SATISFIED YESSSS
9:00-10:50PM
I'M SO TIRED, SO SLEEPY UGHHH I HAVE TO JOG AGAIN TOMORROW AT 4:30AM, I HAVE TO MAINTAIN MY DIET, I HAVE A GRADED RECITATION TOMORROW, I HAVE TO REVIEW MY REPORT FOR MY UPCOMING RECITATION THE DAY AFTER TPMORROW, I HAVE TO PAY PHP20 TODAY CAUSE I DIDN'T DO MY WORKOUT, I ALSO DIDN'T TAKE MY VITAMINS TODAY, I DIDN'T HAVE THE TIME TO PRACTICE ANYTHING, I HAVE SO MUCH THINGS IN MY MIND RIGHT NOW THAT I WANT TO SAY HERE BUT I'M TOO SLEEPY, AHHHHHHH!!!!

[DAY 12] Slowly Gettin' There...

Day 12


Hey Guys! Ayo Waddup? *Jiminie's fave line hahahaha* I uploaded some of my practice videos today on my Youtube Channel but unfortunately you won't get to see it cause either I posted in on Private or Unlisted.... As much as I really want to click "Public" on all of my private/unlisted videos, they're really not that presentable nor worth it... * I'm talking about the clothes that I'm wearing during that time, the background, the audio, and of course the lighting.* But if we're talking about my dance --> IT'S GREAT! 

By the way, according to my planner, what I did for this day was hullahoop, a few squats, nail care, etc. Oh! I also did my homework for Filipino -___-

Also, today is our(Me &Sis) Intense workout day and as I type these words haha we're talking if we're still gonna do it or not (procrastination runs in the family so HARD) But I'm sure we can do it right sis?

I better sleep early today cause I'll jog tomorrow morning at 4:30AM and after that I'll go to school then got to the mall at 6PM to look for possible outfit for AlyGael's Hot Pink Dance Cover... 

Hope the Jogging would go as planned -___-
Please I need this!

Ok bye I'll start my workout! RIGHT NOW BYE

Problems Inside...

A story of a girl who can't adapt

I can't adapt new things easily.
I hate the word "new" if it will not do anything positive to me.
I'm at an age where people at my age experiments life.
Drinking, smoking, doing drugs, having sex, partying, being able to kiss a guy,
I still don't have the heart to do those...
I'm NOT that kind of girl
But in this generation it's slowly becoming normal
Not being a virgin after graduating high school,
Never been to a club,
Never been kissed,
Never smoked,
Yep that's me.

I'm not a kid anymore and I know that.
I am well aware of what I should and should not do.
I always think of the consequences.
I don't do things that will make me pay for it later on...
They say they drink because they have problems or they want to be happy even for just a short time...
Trust me, I have problems, serious problems, even to the point that there's not a day where I won't have tears in my eyes and always tempt suicide or rebellion... 
But I think of the upcoming consequences! 
Drinking, smoking, rebelling won't do anything good for you.
It will only lead you to a path where you won't benefit anything...
I don't do these things so therefore I have difficulties in my social life...
But thanks to my looks, nationality, personality, I survived greatly.
I handle problems on my own.
I don't need people to be my wall.
I myself can do it all.

According to some people there will come a time where I may have a breakdown...
Well it happened many times and I survived without not a single person know what I hide inside. 

Instead of doing bad behaviors... Just look for another way... don't concentrate only on your problems and instead, find a way to achieve your dream, your life goal! Mine was to be a KPop singer. Now I know its impossible.... so how would you expect me to survive this life emotionally. Not having a social life, not having normal teenage habits, always isolated, a dream that is becoming impossible as I age. Probably if I reach college without achieving it. I will never accomplish it. A mom who will never understand you. A family who thinks too easy of you. 

I'm an introvert.

Who Am I Really?

I have no idea on how I can be true to myself
Because truthfully... I don't know me
I don't know who I am
They said...
In order to be comfortable with people
Be true to yourself
But...
People kept on changing me (hurting me)
Always making me look like a fool
They think I'm too easy
Some think I'm too harsh
While others think I don't give a f*** in the world
Who am I?
Ten personalities... For different occasions
That Fangirl of Korean Boygroups
That innocent friend
That cute and shy friend
That friend who is so snob
That friend who doesn't care about anything
That friend who is too harsh with words
That friend who never speaks up and is always quiet at the side
That friend who seems to have all the blessings in the world
That friend who is approachable
That girl with no emotion. She doesn't cry nor get angry.
Now tell me who am I really!
Bipolar? Or just moody?
But all of those personalities keep coming out of myself
Like a cycle...

[DAY 11] Welcome Back HAHA!

Day 4 - 10 

Talk about MAJOR PROCRASTINATION ㅋㅋㅋㅋ... Okayyy let's get started!! (again -___-) Obviously I lost track of my tasks since the start of classes *sorryyy* I really can't help it.... But here I am again trying to go back and start doing it right. SERIOUSLY. 

So let's see.... During the 8 days that I was off, I tried my best to workout and do some dance and vocal practice and of course take care of my diet. I was REALLY busy with school -->  forgive me :(

Instead, I'll just post a picture of my planner and there you could see what I have been doing~

Oh! I've done some composing/writing these past few days and I'm gonna post it after this post! Also, AlyGael just had their first practice for their "EXID's Pink Hot Dance Cover" as well as their "Beg For It Mina Myoung Chorography Dance Cover" YAY! SOME GOALS GETTIN' DONE YO! So, me and Alyzza were talking about having an AlyGael Comeback for 2016 right? (Idk if I said that before in this blog but oh well) By the end of January or in the first week of February, we'll post 2 of our planned dance covers (Pink Hot & Beg For It) and after that, in March we'll join a KPop Dance Contest with our third member "Mikki" who was our past member of our past Apink Cover Group: Pinkeu Pandas. Too much things going on huh~ Plus! I have so many things going on in school :(

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DAY 11

I was absent in school for this day due to being lazy... I did my morning routine... and uhmmm I haven't done my workout yet, I haven't done my nails, and I haven't done any of my assignments.... OH WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH MY LIFE EY?! 

By the way, I went to my father's grave this afternoon and I think that was all that I've done for this day...

I promise to do my workout later and also my dance practice okie? I WILL DO IT!

[DAY 3] Rest Day Pleaseeee 😰

Day 3


I'll remember this day as "not so productive" hahaha! Oh God help meeeee~ how can I stop being lazy 😭 

OKAY. I didn't go to school today cause I was too lazy to get up and leave my bed alone, its already 11:20PM and I haven't start my workout yet, I didn't open my laptop today to learn some steps cause I was too busy sleeping, I went to my Ninang's birthday to eat and I totally forgot about my diet, UGHHH CAN'T THIS DAY GET ANY WORSE?! Hmmm.. Its now 11:23 and I'm planning to start my workout after 20mins. Ohhmyyy I have a presentation tomorow at 8AM about my business proposal for Entrepreneurial Behavior ㅠ.ㅠ Goodluck to me~ I also have a reporting this monday 😪 Plus! I still have to do my project in Business Opportunities 1. Too busyyyy ughhh I still have to learn the steps for EXID's Hot Pink for our dance cover AND I also have to practice for my solo dance cover of Twice's Like Ohh Ahh this coming friday 😭 

Its just my third day but I feel so ughhh *mental breakdown*

[DAY 2] Doing Good haha!

Day 2

Hmm... Day 2... Uhh what can I say~ Well, It's a success ㅎㅎㅎ I almost didn't get to finish it actually if it wasn't for my sister (thanks Eonnie!) 🙈🙈🙈 I admit *sorry*

I did my workout (100 squats, 20 mins hullahoop, cardio) haha actually I made a deal with my sister so that we could workout and motivate each other.

I also had my dance practice and improved my singing... Uhhh.. Oh yeah I almost forgot, AlyGael is making a comeback guyssss! This January(or Feb). We're going to shoot a dance cover of EXID's Hot Pink & AOA's Confused! I never thought that we'd be able to do a dance cover again ㅠ.ㅠ After 2 years! I was already planning on doing a dance cover without her, then suddenly she sent a message to me one night saying that she wanted to make a cover again with me and that she was sorry because of our lack of contact... So we talked and tadaaaa~ we're having an AlyGael reunion *Eww it sounds funny*

By the way, I bought a 2016 planner months ago and I can finally use it yay! I promise to use it wisely 👌👌👌


So yeah that's it for Day 2!
Bye byeee
Gotta sleep (Its also my day 2 in school tomorrow)

[DAY 1] The Struggles of Day 1s

Day 1

Okayyyy~ based on experience, I know first days are always fail hahaha yeah ✌ I tried my best though... Actually last night (010216) I was thinking of a way on how I will complete all my planned tasks for the day (ex: 50 Squats, 20 mins. hullahoop, Cardio, Practice, etc.) So I downloaded an app in my phone... It's called "To Do Reminder" where I can enter all of tasks that I need to do for that specific day and add an alarm that can prevent me for being a lazy pig ㅋㅋㅋ. If you're wondering what type of alarm that I used, well it's Sistar's Shake It. I thought that it would be a perfect combo for my daily routine.

So early morning in Jan 03, 2016, my "Day 1," I started my day with washing my face and putting some moisturizer... Then I went outside of my room to look for food *sigh* unfortunately I didn't find any (I mean why does it always have to be like that 😭 ) So instead, I just drank some water. After that I did my simple workout (Squats, Abs, Cardio) Actually I didn't take the Cardio seriously *Sorry! I just got used to the Christmas break and I was just too lazy ughhh* Anyways, after my workout, I went straight to bed and doze off (I sound like a lazy brat I know 😥 ) I also didn't ate lunch cause I was too lazy to get up so yeah... Then I opened my laptop and I watched a movie with my older sister and after that I finished the presentation that was left for me to do. FYI tomorrow is my first day of class so I'm kinda not in the right state of mind cause ya know~ pressure + mental breakdown 😖 

To end this I'll just summarize my thoughts uhmmm...

Day 1: I was so lazy (but at least I was able to do most of my planned tasks), I didn't have the time to practice singing & dancing, I haven't continued learning the steps for my dance covers, and so much more 

God please give me strength to accomplish more tomorrow (Day 2) even though its my first day of school, and improve myself a lot. I'm still lacking but I'll try my best to push myself harder! Fighting!

Lack of Motivation? READ.THIS.

This is what I get from watching K-Pop Related videos haha! 

I don't just Fangirl you know~ I listen, I learn, and I take down notes. Seriously!

100%  Made by me!

There were so many of these before but my phone was reformatted several times so.....

This is what I only have right now.

THESE ARE FOR THOSE WHO ARE DREAMING/PLANNING TO BECOME A K-POP IDOL!

• Know yourself FIRST!
• Ask yourself "Why am I Special? What makes me Special?"
• Why do I want to be a singer? What do I want/have to show?
• You must be NATURAL in your performance. Especially your face and expression. Don't be awkward...
• When you see the judge/audience being unsatisfied or sad or mad haha just make them feel comfortable and happy through you performance & expression. Like making a baby laugh ㅋㅋㅋ
• NEVER make the judge/audience BORED. Dead Air is not acceptable ㅋㅋㅋ
• Make them FEEL your performance. Portray the emotion well.
• You must continue no matter how hard it goes. Keep Pushing.
• Sometimes unexpected things happen in performance like results, reaction, etc. Just make the best out of it everytime you perform.
• Once you enter the stage, make a good impression asap. Show then what you are capable of as soon as you step on the stage.
• "Not make yourself but show them what you are." ---Jokwon Sunbaenim in finding the star ability...
• In every performance that you do, you must show WHO YOU ARE. So they can tell that "Yeahh that's Gael alright *thumbs up!*"
• Have confidence, be relaxed, and have your own colour/charm.
• Have your own individuality; that will make you DIFFERENT from others.
• Even if you have talent and you are great, you must still have the STAR POTENTIAL!
• Don't predict the standards of the judge/audience, just believe in yourself.
• You must perform with no hesitation and no barriers. You should know how to make it YOURS.
• You are great at just being who you are. Don't try to add so much cause it will come to the point that you're image as a person, as Nayeon, is lessening. -- JYP to Nayeon
• Gael is full of spirit. She doesn't give up. She believes that she will get better as long as she works hard.
• Love and attention can always lead to being medicine or poison. So the important thing is that whatever happens, In order to become a star, you have to be able to push away those worries, burdens, anxiety, etc.
• Trying too hard can be a poison. Try to be yourself.
• When doing a photo shoot don't try too hard. Just experiment and understand the concept. Try a lot of different poses that defines you as a person.
• JYP: Even if you take one picture, you have to know how to express yourself.
• Express the outfit and always look NATURAL.
• Must haves in photoshoots: -The kind of character thst you have. -Your body language. -YOUR EYES!
• Your IMAGE must be CONSTANT.
• The key point is to NOT LOOK SCARED/AWKWARD IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA and have      "Confidence" and look less tense.
• TRY TO BE DIFFERENT. BE UNIQUE!
• JYP: You should have confidence IN YOURSELF if you want to have fans...
• Throw away your worries and doubts! If not... you won't have any chance in success.
• You should have your own aura that will differentiate you from others; and that they would look forward to.
• Don't try to look good all the time... Just be yourself and add a little poise!
• BE FLEXIBLE! (Personality) Make it as your daily life.
• Have the STAR VIBE.
• JYP: It is important to have that effort to try hard but when you are on stage or on camera, you can't make that obvious. If you show that, then its hard to capture people's hearts. Keep that in mind.
• Never ever lose your natural charm. NEVER! It will hide your potentials and your character in which makes you unique.
• CONFIDENCE GHAAAAD YOU MUST HAVE THAT IN YOU.
• SAN E: You can be very good at singing but you need to have your own special something within you.
• Past is past. Just focus on the present....
• Don't be too drunk in the music/performance, instead just get into the music. Be natural as possible.
• Don't work too hard/ concentrate only for the sake of getting the moves/performance right, have fun! Be natural, and you should know what you are doing...
• BE STRONG..!
• JYP: The most greatest athletes are those that have a STRONG HOLD on themselves... You need to have a STRONG HEART to be a star player. So on stage, you need to come up with that type of "big heart" don't you think..?
• Be CONFIDENT in your OWN language and capabilities plus uniqueness(its a charm).
• The important thing is definitely the FEEL and CONFIDENCE you bring with you! It will certainly press down the judges/audience.
• You should know how to ADAPT WELL at situations, especially sudden ones.
• Always make a positive atmosphere. Win the hearts of many people. Utimate goal!
• Don't just copy the steps. FEEL IT!!!
• You need to "push and pull" the audience or else it would be a "little boring..."
• Instead of performing with a feeling/attitude of "Yes I'm totally perfect and having fun haha I'm good at this, I'll show you all," A singer dances and sings to express and transfer those emotions they are trying to express to the audience. ---- JYP
• In every chance you get, DO YOUR BEST! If not, you'll be left out...
• Always think about the FEEDBACK that they(audience) will give you.
• ALWAYS INVOLVE THE AUDIENCE WITH YOUR PERFORMANCE or else you'll look like a back-up dancer, or a singer singing inside her room... Its so boring.
• Don't breath too much when singing.
• Don't let your PROJECTION be a mess!
• To be able to go up on stage, one must MASTER THE BASICS first!

Checklist for 2016

Dance Covers: (Not in order)

1. Red Velvet - Happiness [80%]
2. Red Velvet - Dumb Dumb [20%]
3. Red Velvet - Be Natural [10%]
4. Hyuna - Roll Deep [85%]
5. Hyuna - Red [75%]
6. Girls' Generation - You Think [80%]
7. BTS - Dope [10%]
8. BTS - I Need U [25%]
9. BTS - Danger [09%]
10. BTS - Boy In Luv [09%]
11. T- ara - Sugar Free [20%]
12. EXID - Ah Yeah! [50%]
13. EXID - Up & Down [45%]
14. Twice - Like Ohh-Ahh [95%]
15. KARA - Mamma Mia [20%]
16. Mina Myoung - Can't Stop Dancing [70%]
17. Mina Myoung - 7/11 [20%]
18. Lia Kim - Drunk In Love [00%]
19. F(X) - 4 Walls [10%]

Composing Ideas...

Topic/Title Choices for making music!

• My dream that you didn't took seriously
• Love(for performing) or Pride(from my family)

Random thoughts *sigh* What is "you"? (01-02-16 @ 7:07AM)

My love for you makes me trapped Makes me trapped in our little but big world Am I fine? I don't really know now Am I happy? Tsss how can I be sure... The path that I am going to The risk that I'm going to take The .01 chance that I have The blurred future that I will have How am I going to face them all? Too scared to try something new with my life Too afraid to face the real world in front of me Instead, I'm all alone with you A fantasy world where the both of us live in That fantasy that will take me nowhere unless I go out and reveal myself to all of you listeners The first time I found out about you I was mesmerized Like I was being trapped until now 5 years have passed and I'm still clinging to you You're the only source of happiness I have The only real happiness that I have right now I'm afraid of losing you and entering to a new world A world where I feel unsafe A world where I am not myself Where I have no individuality Where I don't even know myself I tried to make you proud But I am still unknown I've always tried my best And for some reason It feels like I haven't... Can't be too much confident with what I have But that's what happened Am I late? Am I already late? Too late to reach you? Am I just nothing now? To you I don't exist And I'm trying my best to please you Why can't you choose me? That perfect note that I wanted to reach That star that I want to touch That love that I want to receive That trust that I aim for No matter how much I try I still can't be with you To me you're the only way I can be at ease With all of these greed, ambitions, and issues that I have with my life You are the only pathway that I want to walk through How can you be so numb I wanted to reach you so badly that I am willing to sacrifice my life My social life My experiences Myself But you're too far That's not an excuse But you're making me choose Making me choose between my family, my future, and YOU! Some of your saengs taught me to dream I thank them so much They made me realize what you are to me How important you are to me How will I be able to reach out to you How to cope with everyday struggles that I experience because of you
Come to think of it. You're not even a person. How can I be so obsessed with you...

I don't even want you to leave me I don't even want you to be tired of me Please stay with me until I can finally be with you I want to keep running until you notice me and what I can do to be known in your world Thanks for being part of my life and I know you will still be... I hope. I will keep living with these stuggles until I become complete A fully packaged product that you are looking for There's almost no time Its clearly now or never Age does matter And so does my life

So do I risk myself for you or give myself a better life without you

That's where the real phrase "Its too Complicated" are made for. I can be called as a pathetic hopeful and I wouldn't mind Its too hard to win your attention I can't be too trashy I have to be classy Have to be perfect Even though that future that I will have with you will only last for maybe less than a decade I can proudly say that its worth it Gotta sleep wahhhhh 01-02-16 7:07AM Made this aroud 30-35mins

It went in deep, but It won't get out...

A while ago I just heard my mom talking negative things about me behind my back. It's the first time I felt like this before. I feel numb but in my heart I know I was hurting... She talked about how I changed and how she wants to go away... that she just needs some money so that she can go by herself. 

I pretended to be okay cause my older sister is beside me
She was looking at me as we were eavesdropping.



I don't wanna talk about this right know...
Maybe some other time..